Falling For Declan (Falling Book 8) Read online

  Falling For Declan

  Falling Series #8

  Tracy Lorraine

  Copyright © 2018 by Tracy Lorraine

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Edited by Pinpoint Editing

  Formatted by Dandelion Cover Designs

  Cover design by Dandelion Cover Designs

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  Playlist

  Read Falling For Daniel for FREE!

  About the Author

  Also by Tracy Lorraine

  Sneak Peek

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  For everyone who’s supported their best friend through the hardest of times.

  Prologue

  Nicole

  If you’d asked me previously what the day of my mum’s funeral would be like, I never would have described today. Yes, it was sad—devastating, actually—but after everything she’d been through, there was something…refreshing about it. I know people won’t understand me when I say the biggest thing I’ve felt all day has been relief.

  My mum was my best friend. She’s been there for me every single day, and supported me through everything. The last thing I ever wanted was for her to leave me, but watching what that disease did to her over the past few years has killed me. She was the most kind and caring woman. She didn’t deserve any of it.

  The relief is for her, not me.

  She doesn’t have to suffer anymore. The treatment, the sickness, the pain…it’s all gone. She can find some peace at last. I like to think she’ll find her parents up there and they’ll be together once again.

  I look out the window, up at the dark, star-filled sky as I fiddle with her charm bracelet that’s been around my wrist since the day I lost her. It’s full of our memories together, and as painful as it is at times to remember those days, it also brings me a huge amount of comfort. I wouldn’t change anything about life with my mum. Of course, I wish we’d had longer together—who wouldn’t?—but we had a good life. She made sure of that.

  Everyone says that as one door closes, another opens…So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when my best friend Lilly’s waters broke during the wake. Out of death comes life, and not long after saying our final goodbyes to Mum, we were saying hello to two tiny little bundles of joy. Natalie and Nathan arrived a little unexpectedly; Lilly was adamant they’d stay put a few more weeks.

  Lilly had dropped in a few hints that she and Lucas were thinking of naming their daughter after my mum, but hearing them announce it once we were allowed in after their birth cut me up. Mum would have been so in love with them. She never made a secret of her excitement about being a grandmother one day. It guts me that she’ll never get to experience it now.

  I sit in the passenger seat of arguably the most expensive car I’ve ever seen, let alone sat in. It’s obvious that the driver has taken its owner’s advice on board, because he’s driving remarkably slowly and cautiously. It wasn’t what I was expecting at all.

  “I’m never having kids,” is suddenly announced from beside me.

  I drag my eyes from the stars and look at Declan’s dark profile. He’s Lilly’s twin brother, and the one person in the world I don’t want to be anywhere near, let alone stuck in a car with.

  “The whole thing was beautiful. It’s incredible that our bodies are capable of such things.” My mind wanders back to assisting Lilly before Lucas arrived. It really was the most amazing experience—one I didn’t realise I wanted to go through myself, but seeing childbirth first hand brought thoughts of my future to the forefront.

  “Beautiful? I never want to see anyone in that much pain ever again. It was horrendous. I never want a woman to go through that because I was careless enough to knock her up.”

  I’d seen a different side to Declan in the past few hours as his concern for his sister overtook his need to be an arsehole, but it seems he’s starting to transform back to his usual, charming self.

  “Whatever,” I mutter. “Left here.”

  He looks around as we pull on to my street. I’m under no illusion that the place I live is a shithole. It was all Mum could afford when we moved up here. We had plans of going somewhere nicer once I was working, but all that went to the wall when she was diagnosed with breast cancer while I was at college. Plans for university, good jobs and a nicer house evaporated with that one hospital appointment.

  I let out a sigh as Declan continues driving past the run down terraced houses that showcase a range of abandoned items in the small front gardens.

  “Here’s good.”

  Bringing the car to a stop a few doors down from my house, he pulls the handbrake but leaves the engine running. I hate myself for the words that are about to fall from my lips, but as much as I might not like Declan, I’m not an arsehole. Unlike him.

  “Would you like to come in? Get a few hours’ sleep?”

  I feel his stare turn to me but I refuse to look at him.

  “You inviting me in for coffee, Ginge?”

  I swallow down the groan that wants to escape my lips at the use of his nickname for me. “No, arsehole. I was inviting you in so you don’t have to spend the night in this car. I thought you might prefer a bed to the backseat—”

  “Backseat, bed, I’ll take whatever I can get.”

  The amusement in his voice makes me look at him. “Do you know what? Fuck you, Declan. Sleep out here in the cold. I hope you fucking freeze to death.”

  I fling the car door open and snatch my bag from the floor. Anger runs rampant through my body and white noise fills my ears.

  I fucking hate him.

  It takes me three attempts to get my key in the lock. I’m not only angry but also exhausted, and those combined allow for my emotions to begin getting the better of me. A lump forms in my throat and my eyes start to sting.

  I’ve just turned the lock when I feel him. His heat warms my back and I spin on the spot, looking up at him with narrowed eyes.

  “What?” I snap.

  “Is that invitation still open?”

  He continues staring into my eyes, and his arm comes up. My heart races as my imagination runs wild about what he’s about to do, but when I hear the door click open, I realise he’s just finishing the job I started.

  “I didn’t think you wanted me to stay out in the cold.” The arrogant smirk on his face snaps me from my trance and I step back into the hallway.

  He walks in after me and it feels like he’s a lion about to pounce on his prey. Tingles shoot between my thighs as I continue retreating from his piercing blue eyes. I despise my traitorous body in those few minutes. I hate this guy standing in front of me. I shouldn’t be feeling myself getting wet the longer he pins me with his darkening stare.

  Chapter One

  Nicole

  I stand waiting for Bailey, my chocolate cockerpoo puppy, to relieve himself on Lilly’s front
lawn, and look around. She really has landed on her feet with Lucas. The house is stunning, but it’s nothing compared to the view of the bay in front of me. I have a huge desire to put off knocking a while longer and go for an evening stroll along the beach instead.

  Telling myself that I’ve put this off long enough, I square my shoulders and come to a stop on their doorstep. I haven’t allowed myself to think about what I’m doing the whole journey down here in fear I’d change my mind and turn around. But what’s the point? Lilly is the only family I have, and I’m fed up of being alone.

  My hand trembles with my uncertainty as I lift it to knock the door, the fear of starting a new life beginning to get the better of me. Lilly might be the only person I have, and I do want to be close to her, to see her twins grow, but I’m also aware that means I’ll be around him once again. Declan made my childhood and early teens a living nightmare. His constant teasing and name-calling were relentless.

  “OH MY GOD!” Lilly squeals when she pulls the door open. “NICOLE.” I think it’s safe to say she’s pleased to see me. I’m forcefully pulled to her before she wraps her arms around me tightly. The shock of the sudden movement means I drop Bailey’s lead, and he dashes off into Lilly’s house.

  “It’s so good to see you, Nic. I’ve been so worried about you.”

  Guilt washes through me. I know I’ve shut myself down since Mum died, but I couldn’t see any other way to get through it. It was almost as if my life ended that day, too. The sole purpose of my existence was to look after her. I’d given up my education, my job and my music. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat, but when it was all over, I was left with nothing but the small, run down house we lived in, a few pieces of furniture, and an empty bank account. I was utterly lost.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. I’m ashamed that the only thing I was capable of was hiding.

  “Don’t be stupid. I understand. But I’m so glad you’re here now. Please tell me you’re taking me up on my offer of staying.” When she pulls back from me her eyes are sad and I’m reminded that I’m not the only one to have lost someone important to me. It was only a few short years ago that Lilly and Declan lost their older sister in a car accident. Her face immediately lights up when she sees my car. “Oh my god, you are!”

  Everything I own is crammed into my little Fiat. There’s no hiding my plans.

  “I’m so happy. You’re going to love it here.” She embraces me again before pulling me into the house, telling me about how they’re in the middle of celebrating Lucas’ birthday.

  I’ve never felt so unsure of myself as the moment everyone in Lilly’s dining room turns to look at me. I’m under no illusion that I look a mess, but the sad expressions on their faces only remind me of how I’ve lived the past few months.

  I tug on the bottom of my oversized jumper, starting to feel more and more uncomfortable and self-conscious as everyone’s attention stays on me.

  Lilly starts introducing the people I don’t recognise, and I give a weak smile to Taylor, her old roommate, and Lucas, her husband.

  It’s not until the room turns silent that I realise everyone’s no longer staring at me but instead at an empty place setting.

  “Where’s Dec gone?”

  My heart starts to pound as images of the last time I saw him flash through my mind. The feelings he ignited in me as he stared down at me in my hallway, urging me to do something, rush through me.

  “No idea; he was there a minute ago,” someone says.

  Does he hate me that much?

  Lilly ushers me to another vacant seat at their humongous table before serving me a plateful of curry.

  A few questions are thrown my way, but thankfully Lilly redirects the conversation away from me as I sit and push a few pieces of chicken around the plate.

  I feel terrible. Everyone’s here to celebrate Lucas’ birthday, and I’m sat here like a wet weekend. I have the urge to excuse myself, collect Bailey from Taylor’s lap, and spend the night in my car. I don’t want to bring the atmosphere down on what should be a happy night for them.

  “Is everyone okay for drinks? I’m going to show Nicole to the guest room.”

  Everyone mutters that they’re fine and continue with their earlier conversations that I was too distracted to even acknowledge the topics of.

  I follow silently behind Lilly as she makes her way up the stairs. This was a mistake. Lilly has enough to deal with already; she doesn’t need me getting in her way. The thoughts don’t stop me from walking into a stunning guest room with a ginormous bed with more cushions than should be possible to squeeze on.

  “I can go to a hotel,” I offer weakly.

  “Don’t be stupid, Nic. This is where you belong—until you find your feet, at least.”

  I perch myself on the edge of the bed and look around the luxurious cream and gold room. “Your house is stunning.”

  “Thank you.” She beams at my praise. “So when did you get Bailey?”

  I’m relieved that’s the question she starts with. I was dreading she’d go straight in with Declan’s disappearing act.

  “About a month after Mum died. I needed someone to talk to, and I’ve always wanted a dog but she was allergic. I thought it was the right time.”

  “He’s a real cutie.”

  “He is. Cheeky as hell, though. He’s kept me on my toes.”

  “Is he house trained?” she asks with a wince, clearly thinking about her expensive carpets.

  “Yes. Well, he is at home, so I’m hoping that translates to here, too.”

  “Me too,” she mumbles quietly. “What’s the plan then, Nic Nac?” The use of her childhood nickname for me makes me smile for the first time since she opened the door.

  “No idea. It was just time to make a fresh start, so here I am.”

  “What about the house and everything up there?”

  “All sold and sorted. New people moved in this afternoon. It’s all over, Lills.” My voice cracks and a lump the size of a tennis ball appears in my throat. “Sh…she’s gone, and it’s over. I’ve no idea what I’m meant to do now.” Lilly pulls me into her arms and holds me while I cry.

  “You can stay here as long as you need to. You know that, right?” she asks once I’ve settled down. “Do you have money?”

  I nod. Mum didn’t own much of our house, but after all the fees and everything, I’ve walked away with a few thousand pounds. Enough for me to start over, but I’m going to need a job as soon as possible, as I don’t want to use it all for living. Ideally, I’d love to use it to buy a place of my own—if that’s even possible with the house prices down here.

  “Why don’t you make yourself at home? Have a bath, relax. I’ll get the guys to bring your stuff from your car and leave it outside the door. I’d love it if you came down and had a drink with us, but you do what you need to do, okay?”

  I nod again and pull her into another bone crushing hug. “Thank you,” I whisper, just about managing to get the words out through my clogged throat.

  “Always. I’m here for whatever you need. Lucas too. Everything’s going to be okay. You’ll see.”

  With one final squeeze, she gets up and walks to the door. “The en suite’s fully stocked, and make sure you turn the jets on—they’re incredible. I’ll be back in a few minutes with a drink for you.”

  I watch her leave and quietly close the door behind her before falling back on the bed. I sigh as my body sinks into the thick duvet. I think I’m going to like staying here.

  When Lilly returns, I’m in the en suite running the bath. I look back over my shoulder when I hear her knock and poke her head in. I can’t help but smile when I see she hasn’t just brought me a drink but an entire bottle of wine—and in a cooler no less.

  She shrugs. “I thought you might have needed more than one.”

  The second she leaves, I strip out of my clothes and slide my tired, aching body into the bath. I sink down until all but my head is submerged, and allow the hot water to so
othe my muscles.

  I hear footsteps and commotion outside the room. Lilly must have rallied the men to help with my stuff.

  As I rest back with the scent of vanilla filling the air, I can’t help but feel at home—an odd feeling because I’ve never been here before. I may still be sceptical as to whether this was the right move or not, but it’s an amazing feeling to be near someone I love once again. For all intents and purposes, Lilly is my sister. We’ve been best friends since we were in nappies, so I have no doubt that coming to her is the right thing to do. It’s the other half of her I’m worried about. Her evil twin.

  I try not to let thoughts of the last time I saw him back into my head. I’ve dissected every second of those intense few minutes with him the day of Mum’s funeral before I ducked under his arm and ran for the stairs. I still haven’t been able to make any sense of it, or the feelings it kick-started in my body. Then there’s tonight. Did he run away because he knew I was at the door?

  * * *

  I didn’t end up re-joining the others last night after my bath. I intended to; I didn’t want to seem unsocial, but I made the mistake of lying down on the bed before I got dressed. I swear I only blinked, but the next thing I know, it’s morning.

  I sit myself up and find that the towel I fell asleep wrapped in is now in a pile on the floor and I’m naked. I quickly get out of bed and wrap myself in the cold, damp towel so I can grab my case that’s still out in the corridor where it was left.